Learning to Be a Better Human: A Journey of Empathy and Growth

I’ll never forget the sting of a moment from years ago. I was at a family gathering, passionately arguing my point about some hot-button issue—convinced I was right. My voice was loud, my logic airtight. But then I noticed my cousin’s face. She wasn’t debating back. She wasn’t even looking at me. She just quietly slipped out of the room. Later, I learned she felt dismissed, hurt by my need to dominate the conversation. I didn’t mean to push her away, but I did. That moment stuck with me. It made me question: Am I being the kind of person I want to be?

As professionals, we’re wired to have strong opinions. We’re problem-solvers, leaders, and thinkers. But what happens when our need to be right overshadows the people around us? In group settings—whether with friends, family, or colleagues—do people gravitate toward you, or do they quietly pull away? If you’ve ever felt a room grow cold or seen someone disengage, there might be a reason. Sometimes, we unintentionally annoy or alienate the very people we care about.

In today’s world, where social media amplifies every thought and outrage, it’s easy to double down on our perspectives. We post, we argue, we defend. But at what cost? I’ve seen friendships fray and family dinners turn tense because someone (sometimes me) couldn’t let go of the need to “win.” We’re all individuals, shaped by unique experiences, beliefs, and struggles. Assuming everyone should see the world through our lens is a recipe for disconnection.

Take challenges, for example. I’ve always viewed life’s obstacles as temporary roadblocks—puzzles to solve, mountains to climb. But not everyone feels that way. Some see those same challenges as unfair burdens, proof that life is stacked against them. I used to roll my eyes at that mindset, thinking, just get over it. But then I started listening—really listening—to the stories behind those perspectives. A colleague who grew up in poverty didn’t have the safety net I took for granted. A friend battling chronic illness wasn’t “complaining” for attention; she was grappling with a reality I couldn’t fully understand. Their mountains were steeper, their paths rockier. Who was I to judge?

So, let’s get real: What does it mean to be a better person? It’s not about erasing your opinions or pretending you don’t care. It’s about balancing conviction with compassion. It’s about asking yourself, how can I face my challenges authentically while respecting that others are fighting their own battles? Complaining might feel good for a moment, but it doesn’t move the needle. The world won’t shift because you vent about its unfairness. What can change is your perspective, your biases, and—most importantly—your actions.

Here’s a hard truth: Being “right” is overrated. It doesn’t pay your bills, deepen your relationships, or bring you peace. I learned this the hard way when I lost someone close to me—a mentor who saw the world differently than I did. We’d spar over politics, religion, you name it. I always thought I’d “win” those debates someday. But when he passed, I didn’t feel victorious. I felt hollow. I’d give anything for one more conversation, not to prove my point, but to hear his laugh, to feel his presence. The relationship was what mattered, not the argument.

Being a good person means stepping into someone else’s shoes, even when it’s uncomfortable. It means recognizing that everyone carries their own pain, fears, and dreams. They don’t need to think like you to be worthy of your respect. We’re all in this messy, beautiful lifeboat together, and if your attitude pushes others away, you might find yourself rowing alone.

So, how do we grow? Start small. Listen more than you speak. When you’re tempted to judge, ask a question instead. Reflect on the mountains you’re climbing, and the ones others face. Are you prepared for your journey? Are you carrying unnecessary baggage—bitterness, jealousy, or the need to always be right? Those won’t help you summit.

This isn’t about becoming perfect. It’s about progress. It’s about choosing empathy over ego, connection over conflict. I’m still learning, still stumbling, but every step toward being a better human feels like a step toward a fuller, more meaningful life.

What about you? What’s one small way you can show up differently for the people in your life? Reflect on this, and let’s climb those mountains together.

Byron Veasey is a Data Quality Engineering Leader passionate about turning setbacks into comebacks.